


Hum

by Missmadhatter96



Series: Bleach Phone Fic Collection [16]
Category: Bleach
Genre: AU, Attempt at Humor, Demons, Gen, I still crack up reading it but I know it’s prob not that funny, Supernatural Elements, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22869487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missmadhatter96/pseuds/Missmadhatter96
Summary: Urahara summons a pair of demons. And, well...the list is a bit odd.
Series: Bleach Phone Fic Collection [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1513223
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	Hum

**Author's Note:**

> Humor! I know ! Not one of my moods half the time with writing XD this is from last year.
> 
> Phone fic. No warnings other than language.
> 
> Enjoy!

Urahara wasn’t lonely per se but he certainly wasn’t surrounded by a whole lot either. In all his years he had honestly pushed this feeling in the back of his mind (where things like to simmer..) and then grow a mind of its own.

Sure he adopted two spiritually aware children, but they were never to fill this gap. He just hated seeing anyone suffer if he could help. So Urahara took the two youngsters in and he’s pretty damn proud of them.

As with all things though, good days never stay around for him. Bad days like to cling like moths to a flame. You could shoo them away but they eventually come back.

So when Urahara thought no one would catch him, he looked into his vast collection of summonings and what types of Hollows one could call.

Low level hollows? No.

Mid level? Nope. No.

A high level would be tricky...maybe? He knew a few tricks himself. He was centuries old after all. But not as old as the one he picked and planned on trying to summon.

He was pretty sure this wasn’t totally legal.

Disturbing one of Hueco Mundo’s 10 most powerful Espada just because he found them intriguing.

The price to summon was- _what?_

A paper about as old as time listed the items and Urahara wasn’t expecting this.

-Ten pounds of white and dark chocolate.

-Java beans in liquid form.

He’s pretty sure that’s supposed to be coffee. When was this written again? It sort of sounds like a toddler made it.

-A book of one called Shakespeare.

-A pillow pile fit for a king.

-Apples.

-Hum- The rest was torn and slightly burned.

Gods, does it say human?

Urahara bets it says Human sacrifice.

...He still wanted to try calling them.

-

Four hours later and Urahara had everything for the summoning. Chocolate, coffee, books and pillows and apples (why?) but not the Hum- part. He’s racked his brain for every H.U.M. starting word dealing with the Supernatural and-

Nothing.

He’ll have to think of something for it later if they agree.

Checking and double checking the circle of stars and moon like designs for any flaws of sorts, to make sure they matched the one in the picture, was what made Urahara realize he’s trying to summon not one, but a pair of Espada...

Oh Tessai was so going to scold him for sure this time.

Urahara kneeled before the circle, palms flat on the outermost ring.

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

“I call!”

-

Drained of most of his Reiastu and dizzy like he’d been spinning in an office chair; Urahara stood shakily and dusted his knees off while fixing his white and green striped bucket hat.

“Holy shit they actually took it seriously and went with the summon!” They laughed briefly, coughing the smoke out from the sudden power transfer to the seals. “Ichi! Ichi! Hey wake up!”

A soft groan followed a “Shut the fuck up Shiro!”

Urahara stood stock still. Watching the two powerful Hollows.

Both had waist long hair, one white as snow and the other orange like a sunset during wintertime. A pair of downward facing horns sat on each temple of the two beings, both wearing a sleek white robe with a black sash and skin tight leggings and thigh high boots. The orangettes robe held red fur around its collar while the other had black fur.

They were quite the pair. And very handsome.

Two sets of gold on black eyes snapped to his frame, seeing who was brave enough to follow through on their call.

Urahara cleared his throat before greeting them both with a polite bow. “Good evening! Espada-sans. Welcome to my humble abode.”

The pale one walked over and circled the pale blond haired man with eyes like a predator.

The slightly less pale one with orange hair just watched in quiet amusement.

“Uh, oh! Where are my manners! Forgive my rudeness, I have everything the list stated to get for the summons.” Urahara gestured towards the piles of comfy mats and pillows with low setting trays nearby where everything was set perfectly and carefully.

The pale one, Shiro if he remembered from them yelling at each other, hummed and turned towards the display.

“Awww! You forgot one thing!” Shiro whined while the other strolled gracefully towards his companion.

Urahara fidgets hoping they wouldn’t actually notice that one but to get the two beings here everything must be there. So he bowed and apologized, “I’m terribly sorry. I was hoping we would get to that after you both had you’re fill.”

Shiro looks over at his brother confused before stating, “Why? Hummus is wonderful with apples.”

And Urahara almost fell face first on the not so soft hard wood floors if he had not caught himself.

Hummus...?

Hum.

Ah.

Urahara laughed then walked to the fridge, pulling out a plastic container of Tessai’s favorite Hummus before handing it to Shiro.

What a weird but wonderful set of Espada.


End file.
